Originally Posted by Cleo
the rules my husband and I had when we first started dating others now make me laugh... and cringe.. and laugh some more.
But the truth is: I don't think we could have gotten to the point where we are now (with very little rules) without that rule-drive period in our lives.
So by all means agree on rules. But also, be very, very prepared to adjust them along the way. No matter how hard you think about or plan this new poly life, the reality is going to be SO different it'll make your head spin. And when your head spins, you sit down together again, look at what you discussed about rules, and adjust. And again, and again, and again.
Thanks so much for this Cleo! This totally makes sense to my way of thinking and resonates with our approach. We're trying to do this the right way. It's both our first times with this, and we recognize the potential for it to make or break us, but she feels she is definitely poly and if we DON'T try this is may most definitely break us. But I think we have a very deep relationship with one another based on many shared values as well as deep love and respect, and I'm quite sure we would both be ecstatic if we could make this work together!