Originally Posted by TRBG
I'm kind of thinking that's one of those things they'll have to feel out for themselves. Even when you learn that rules aren't as set-in-stone as you think they are when you're making them they're still a good center piece for discussion. Yes, they're not something you want to get hung up on. But if they give you a more structured focal point (which people from more conservative backgrounds tend to need) then they serve the purpose of creating a stabilizing focal point... which understandably is going to shift.
I agree that people who started out in life being told and believing in the "life script" and being very invested in what other people think tend to believe that rules are necessary no matter what kind of relationship or activity they get involved in. But if you were brought up and lived your whole life viewing marriage as a tool instead of a sacrament, it is very natural to step outside of that box with little to no discomfort.