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Old 02-09-2010, 01:09 AM
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Lemondrop Lemondrop is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Rocky Mountains, USA
Posts: 305

I'm afraid I have to agree, the words are nowhere near as nice as the actions. My husband has a long history of saying the words but acting in a completely opposite fashion, and I have to say that now that he's actually behaving in a loving manner I feel so much better!

Perhaps there could be a compromise for the two of you, which you would have to find through communication of course. It never hurts to talk about it in a loving, non-judgemental way. Then, at least, you feel heard and he has a better understanding of how you feel.

Possibly there are other words he could say that would mean "I love you" to you. I love how, in the movie "The Princess Bride", he says, "As you wish" when he means "I love you". I've said "Drive safe" to my husband for years, and of course it means "I love you". There have been days when he refused to leave the house until I said "Drive safe". Maybe if the two of you could have a phrase like that, it could satisfy both of you.

Another possibility that occurs to me is if he didn't mind if you asked when you need to hear it. I ask my husband if he loves me, and all he has to say is yes, though I enjoy the "of course!" as well. Then I hear "I love you" even if he doesn't say the exact words.

If it really does come down to you having to learn to live with it, then know that *feeling* loved is much better than hearing words that have no feeling behind them.
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