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Old 08-05-2013, 06:15 AM
Dirtclustit Dirtclustit is offline
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Middle of Oregon
Posts: 422
Default might want to try swinging or gloryholes

until you figure out if you can be a mono and let your SO be poly without it ruining your relationship.

You need to honestly know what you have the most trouble dealing with, because it will be hell without help from your SO and preferably her boyfriends. It's kind of important you know if it's the sex or the emotional closeness with others so that you and your SO can better deal with what's really the problem. So take a lot of time for honest reflection, it is far too easy to not sit with your issues long enough to honestly identify the problem because it isn't fun. Otherwise trying to transition may work better with a don't ask don't tell sort of deal where you never meet or see any of your SO's boy friends. If you are really struggling with letting your partner be more "open" if will be much easier to take if it isn't constantly in your face.

Becareful of trying to play it cool when you are actually having a really hard time, but even that takes some calibrating of your own emotions because if it the transition that was not really hard, every couple would make it through the flames intact, or nobody would try to walk through them.

It is going to take a lot of understanding and patience, and as soon as you feel marginalized or that your SO doesn't really care you are in trouble.

Hopefully anybody either of you date will not be an asshole because it makes a big difference.

Becareful who you let into your lives unless you are out, because if you require discretion and count on the wrong person to not use that against you it could cause problems.

The world is still filled with a lot of unrecognized hate, people ruin other people's lives and are so far out of touch with reality they think they are making the world a better place, we are working on changing that, and the quickest way to deal with unrecognized hate is to speak up any time you see it, not just for poly people, but every situation, religious beliefs, LBGT, race, gender, everything. It is the only effective way to make everything in your personal life much more within your control, at least the things that a person should be able to control anyway

Last edited by Dirtclustit; 08-05-2013 at 06:19 AM.
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