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Old 08-05-2013, 04:53 AM
Dirtclustit Dirtclustit is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Middle of Oregon
Posts: 431
Default how is that the same

when what you used as your example to discount Bookbug's use of the label, is incest.

Of course you come up with a theoretical example where something doesn't fit, people don't use the term triad on this site unless all three are fucking, that fine, people here get bent out of shape as this is like the Justice system of Polyworld where everything is right or wrong according to precedence.

So at polyamory.com you need to go vee Bookbug, even low in reality I would agree you are very much in a triad, not a vee. If you need to label things for clarity the triad label is much closer as it sounds like more than where you all have a bed, you are involved in each others life. There are no walls, no screens for privacy and you don't want them as there is no separation between the three of your lives.

You didn't misspeak Marcus, just contradicting yourself, or possibly completely discounting a person's experiences with poly or concerns about dynamics when you said

For all of the other forms of poly which are not group-sex oriented, this is not a question that is relevant.

As if semantics is going to change her experience,

So as to the question presented by Flowerchild, it can be a problem, or it could be one where there is no problem to get around. The same way giving your situation a difference name won't do much to change your experience unless you are playing games with yourself and attempting to force yourself to be OK with somethings you are not, or possible find a problem that really isn't a problem and use it as an excuse

both things happen all the time

However there are people with mature enough attitudes, who don't drastically change their character depending on who they are with or where they are, it is completely possible to be fully integrated into each others lives without having sex with the bisexual, and you could have threesomes but it really doesn't matter as you can be "fully integrated" as three people in each others lives and whether or not it's called a triad or if someone claims you are not fully integrated that are foolish.

As it depends nothing on any of the information given here, and it is ok to make every assumption you want when you are talking about possibilities and dynamics because they can probably be accurate with certain people and not possible with others.

So regardless of anyone else's opinion or experience, yes it could be a problem, no it doesn't have to be.

It depends on the people and the the aspects that make up their life. If you are a couple that eats, drinks, and breathes camping, then a person who gets uncomfortable going to a park unless they can see cars whizzing by can have all the sex she wants with both partners at once and each pf them saparately, but she isn't likely ever going to be "fully integrated" into their lives if the couple is always camping somewhere any day they don't have to go to work in the morning because camping is such a big part of their life.

On the other hand, a person who is always camping with the couple and loves being around them, maybe even cuddles with them under a blanket every night by the fire but does not kiss nor have sex with either of them could easily be considered "full integrated"

It has more to do the breakdown or makeup of whatever it is that are the majority of each person's life, and how much involvement there is between the three of you.

If sex is the major component in your life you can still have a person be involved with your sex life and not actually be engaging in sex acts,


but the truth is, being involved in each other's lives is more important than both the presence of Love AND sex, when speaking about being fully integrated

another thing that happens is people are saying and doing two different things, and it doesn't matter if it is an honest mistake or intentional. Usually people who get all uptight above the precision meaning of words is smart enough to know the difference between the meaning of being "fully integrated" into a couples' life and how that communicates something completely different from "fully integrated sexually" or being "sexually fully integrated"

These semantics problems are not normally a problem because people who demand precision so that they know exactly what you are talking about do not use terms imprecisely, and if they do it is likely a case of them being manipulative.

If it's not them being manipulative there won't be any problems because in today's world we have such a robust and complete vocabulary in so many languages that anything can be clearly communicated, while at the same time the simplest notion can also be obfuscated intentionally for personal benefit over all others.
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