Given her silence towards me I'm left in the dark as to how she feels at the moment. I'm sure she will eventually contact my primary partner though, and that he will help her work through her anger at me so that she and I can then sit down and work it out from there. Or not....
As for my primary partner's transgressions? He cares about my feelings, we just have different beliefs on how risky his behavior was. He now knows how serious and anxious I am over this topic, given my reactions. I'm hoping we can come to a solid agreement on what constitutes "risk" and what doesn't. He knows I've worked with his insecurities and fears on other topics, and once I explain how mine are similar to his I hope he will be accommodating to mine.
Having any discussion between all of us at one time when he travels and she is still in the process of disengaging from her marriage isn't easy. I wish it was as easy as just getting all of us to sit down and have a chat.
Change your perception and you change your life.
Nothing changes without changes.
Me ~ 48 bi-sexual female
Primary partner ~ 54 heterosexual male
secondary partner ~ 43 bi-sexual female
** we are working on forming a triad, though our secondary partner is more for me since my primary partner travels **