Originally Posted by Marcus
If I'm picking up what you're putting down here, you are talking about a triad or quad type situation. That is, where all of the members of a relationship are sexually involved with one another. This would be the only time where being "fully integrated" with someone elses partner is even a topic of discussion.
For all of the other forms of poly which are not group-sex oriented, this is not a question that is relevant. I am more or less heterosexual, CV is heterosexual, IV is heterosexual... who cares? I am not part of a partner exchange program, I'm dating IV who also (completely unrelated to my relationship with her) is dating CV. CV and I don't need to be sucking each others dicks for this to be a fully functional poly arrangement. It just means that we are not a triad... who's got time for that kind of stress?
I was in a similar living arrangement to the one Marcus has. We did call it a triad, because we three all loved each other. However, the other woman and I did not share sex, so by strict sexual definition we were a vee. That said, the other female partner and I were the best of friends. She and I had common interests outside of our mutual guy and pursued those together. Loving relationships do not necessarily need a sexual component.