Felt lonesome yesterday evening. I'd met a workmate in the afternoon at a whisky bar, which was fun. But then I had to go home and pack (moving today, to another sharehouse about 15 minutes down the road - yay!). On the way home, my mood slumped. Wanted a hug. Missed having people around who know me, really know me.
I hung out with that feeling for a while, then called Grotto for a chat (he was busy with friends; said he'd call me back) and then Plinth (he was getting ready to go out to dinner, but we talked a short while and he said he'd also ring me back.) So later that night I got two return calls, which was nice
I did think to myself - making those phone calls - eek, am I dependant? Can't I be alone?
But... I know I can be alone, when I'm in a solitary mood. Just I felt like company right then. I wouldn't have broken if I didn't have anyone to talk wth (I can make peace with loneliness) but why ache through something you don't have to? If I thought this was a bad addiction, that would be a different matter (though, obviously we don't always realise when we're trapped by our behaviour. Hmm.)
Have been missing Ocean a bit too. His phone has been broken this past week and it's e-mail only contact (and he's generally not checking e-mails), so no casual nuzzles through the day. Nawwwww... that shit adds up. I want to touch.
Space is good, though. As much as long distance blows, it's good to have so much time to be by myself.