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Old 08-03-2013, 01:55 PM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,587

Originally Posted by wildflowers View Post
I agree with Fuchka; this seems like largely a semantic distinction.
How language is used conveys our meaning and intention of action. The fact that it is a semantic argument (you are both correct, that's what it is) does nothing to diminish the critical nature of the distinction.

"Working on the relationship" is a statement of action, one that is diluting the importance of dealing with ones issues and placing artificial importance on the longevity of the association. It is a distraction from reality, shifting focus from the issue at hand "I am insecure, what do I need to do about that?" (which is basically what this post was about) and placing it instead on "What can we do to force this failing association to continue ambling on?" (which is the opposite of a constructive conversation).

So while I agree that what we are having is a semantic discussion, I disagree that this makes it any less important. Words are powerful and they carry our intentions with them. I suppose as long as "working on the relationship" doesn't carry with it the distraction from self improvement and the confusion of the importance of longevity over living genuinely then it doesn't matter. However, I will continue to make this point and prompt people to have this conversation with me. The reason being, just because *you* might be constructive enough to not be distracted by this phrase as I've described above, I would hate to encourage other people to continue having unhealthy couplings simply because a turn of phrase they heard reinforced on here gave them "permission". Our lives are jam packed with excuses to externalize responsibility for our actions and motivation to live restricted and disingenuous lives, my hope is to minimize that.

No, I am not a crusader. No, I don't particularly care about the lives of the strangers on this forum or elsewhere - but while I'm on here talking with people I might as well be expressing the ideals that I think will bring about the most flourishing.
Me: male, 43, straight, non-hierarchical, independent
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