I am so frustrated with FJ right now. I have been expressing that I don't feel connected, I'm trying to reach out....and he's just apathetic about it all. Last night MD offered to keep the kids so FJ and I could go out. So we went out and it was good....if not a bit boring. I'm just not sure what we have to talk about. We need other people to be around while we're hanging out together to make it interesting. And that's lame. Maybe it's because we've had so much time together lately since I've been out of work? I am not sure. I've been bringing him lunch and seeing him during the day and trying to hang out having dates on a regular basis...but it feels very one-sided. After our date we had sex-but it was weird and pretty terrible. Maybe it was just because he had too much to drink. But whatever-it wasn't good. I find myself just wishing I could be laying on the couch snuggling with MD and talking with her. But I consciously bring myself out of that space and reach out to touch FJ and talk with him. But it's not being met with anything from him. Sigh. I just don't know what else to do.
And to make it worse, FJ was super stressed today and freaked out at really simple things-yelling at me etc. :/ Certainly not a step forward in feeling connected. Sigh
franchescasc-33, bi female, likely monogomish formerly in triad relationship with:
FJ-36, married 15 yrs
MD-35, gf for 8 months
Currently dating SM, male, 40, monogamous