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Old 06-25-2009, 02:40 PM
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bowtie bowtie is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Charlotte, NC, USA
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Originally Posted by foxflame88 View Post
Of course, the biggest issue currently is breaking this to my current husband. He does not yet know, but from past conversations, I know he will not be accepting/supportive... meaning divorce is inevitable.
You might be surprised. I recently had to have a similar discussion with my wife. I was terrified of how she was going to react, and I had the same fears as you. Her reaction was completely the opposite of what I was expecting.

I found that a lot of it had to do with how it was presented. Instead of just jumping right in like a splash of cold water, I eased into the conversation over the span of several days. There was kind of already someone else that I had developed feelings for after being really close friends, and in the course of the conversation, we discussed how her being in my life had strengthened the relationship between my wife and I, and how it was a positive thing for both of us. Instead of driving us apart, it has brought us closer than we have ever been before.

Everyone's situation is different, but being honest with yourself and with those you care about is important. When or if you decide to broach the subject with him, you have to expect some insecurity on his part. While it is important that you make your needs known, keep in mind his needs as well. It will go a long way to his understanding by making him feel secure and helping him to understand that it is not about him not being good enough and that it is not about him having done something wrong.
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