Your BF doesn't need to repeat all that to you. His doing that does not improve relationship between you and the wife.
Wife could talk to you direct if she wants to tell you things.
You could talk to wife direct yourself if you want to know things.
Your hinge could not make himself the go-between and get all into triangulation
And if the internal polyship climate here is this poor, you could think about walking away and no longer dealing with EITHER her baggage or his baggage and exposing yourself to their weird. Less baggage for you is less baggage for you.
You could seek a healthier polyship dynamic than this.