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Old 08-02-2013, 06:56 PM
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Piroska Piroska is offline
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Default Time management issues...

So, I am really really terrible at time management. I have a job that caters to this lack - as long as I get my clients taken care of the boss really doesn't care what time of day or night I do it - and this is fortunate, because I've been fired for being late before, so this nonschedule reduces the chance that; and unfortunate, because it takes the pressure off to learn this necessary skill.

Guy and I have been constantly trying to sort out a schedule that works better than my current non schedule, because he works nights and I work days, and the being late for everything is not helpful. Recently he changed starting times so instead of leaving for work at 2am he leaves at 11pm, so I have less time to muck around getting to work and coming back, because we trade off with the kids and the only time I might get to see him and really spend time with him is after I come home before he leaves - unless I stay late in the morning, but then that kicks off a stream of being even later for everything. And especially once school starts again, I need to be focused on being up and moving and getting the kids to school on time (I have been really terrible at that in past years), not trying to squeeze in a little relationship time.

While we're working on it, and I think we may eventually solve it, cause I really dislike myself when I'm late to everything, all the time, and not just a few minutes late, sometimes hours... but suddenly it's critical.

I met Morp. I like him, he likes me. Guy is processing his comfort levels and insecurities and has established rules to help keep Morp's and my potential relationship developing at a snails pace to allow Guy and me time to settle into a more stable relationship (there was some serious upheaval a few months ago, with divorce a suggested possibility, but we both decided we'd rather stay together and see if we can make this work) and to give him time to figure out if he's really okay with this full fledged poly thing or not, before Morp and I get serious, (if we even would).

One of the problems is the lack of time. Morp works nights too, but he can use his phone at night (Guy can't at his job) so Morp and I chat at night. I was chatting earlier in the day, but it was eating time that I had with Guy, and when he explained how that felt to him, I stopped doing it and now only chat after Guy has left or on weekends. I have my kids most of the weekends except when I go to rehearsals or perform, so usually I try to meet people before or after rehearsals, at performances, etc, as this is the "me time" that I have. This doesn't work for Morp, as he has his kids on the weekends only (divorced), and he's not about to give up even one evening with them (his ex used to withhold the kids when she was mad at him for anything; thankfully she stopped years ago, but still). So far, we've only met in person 2ce; once before I went in to work, once he took me to a long lunch from my job before he had to go in to his job. The problem with either of those times is that if I take time out of my day to go on a long lunch, or go in to work later in the day, I end up coming home later, which cuts into my time with Guy. He feels that doing so is detrimental to our working on our relationship things - and he's right. Not only that, but I am easily distracted, and if I start daydreaming about Morp or Guy or thinking about business things or family things or pretty much anything I can end up wandering off in my head and getting even less work done while I'm at my job, so then I end up staying even later to do the stuff I was supposed to get done.

Regarding weekends - I did think of maybe trying to do family-friendly stuff on weekends; his kids, my kids, Morp, Guy and me, but 1, I think neither man is really ready for that level of family involvement (they're both super protective of their kids), and 2, his kids are a lot older than my kids so I have no idea what would be both family friendly and actually fun for all the kids involved.

So I'm wondering if I need to just forget this whole poly idea (but I don't want to give up Morp! but he might just lose interest in this snails pace thing anyway) until I have a better handle on focusing and time management. Suggestions? Thoughts?
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current relationships:
Guy - Dom/husband
Cru - (no longer dating)
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