Forget about labeling yourself according to what someone else labels themselves. You know i make fun of it when people get all "OMG how DARE you try to label me AUUGH the NERVE of some ppl!!!!!one!!!1!"
But what i see here is a classic case of a label allergy-attack, combined with an episode of comparing your relationship to someone else's.
The question is, is this "real" to you, or is it just another reaction to old programming and thinking patterns rising to the surface to be confronted and neutralized? Is IV doing this TO you, or are you doing it to yourself?
You're welcome. I hope this helps the way that other thing you said did.