For your situation, I would suggest increasing communication with her throughout the day. Texts, emails, whatever.
It sounds like you are just struggling with wanting to be more involved where work schedules don't allow-not really issues in the relationship dynamic itself.
The wacko schedules I totally understand. We are down to 2 kids at home now, but at one pount we had 6 in the house. Maca works days, gone from 6am-4pm and GG is gone from 1pm-midnight or so. My schedule changes every semester for school. Each of us has felt left out at some point or another in terms of time with the family. (we aren't a triad, we are a V).
The best help has been keeping in touch by text and email.
"Love As Thou Wilt"