Dealing with envy my self...
I don't really have an answer but I feel your pain and frustration. I hope you get a resolution to your problem. Just know that you are not alone. I am dealing with a but of envy and jealousy myself. My husband of 13 years and I work strange schedules that aren't really compatible for us but allow us to have the children stay out of the day care system. We have started a fairly new, (almost 2 month old) relationship with a wonderful women. Initially this was to become a triad, of the three of us. Not necessarily all together all the time but mixing and matching. Her and I have been on several dates and have spent time with my husband as well. I guess where i am having the most difficulty is while I am at work in the evenings they spend so much time together. Pretty much every night. Usually they just watch TV or eat dinner and spend time with the children. But I am insanely envious of this. She sees my husband more than I do.
The other part of my envy stems from the fact that things have not gone to the next level yet between her and I, or for the three of us. My husband and I are very open and honest and have told her from day one that we have NO secrets. Its how we deal with our life. So I know they have been intimate. And I have no qualms about that. I want them both to be happy, but I am feeling neglected. I know jealousy is a control issue and a very irrational behavior, especially because I am the one that pushed for a poly relationship years ago. I should know better. But my pride is hurt and I'm not sure where to go. Its gotten so bad that I actually have delusions of of her "cowgirling" my relationship. When we are all three together that feeling is gone. Its only when I'm alone. What is happening to me. I feel so irrational all of the sudden.