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Old 08-01-2013, 01:11 PM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Richardson, TX
Posts: 1,352

Originally Posted by skittleskittens View Post
Does anyone know of any useful coping strategies when dealing with envy?
There are two problems going on here which are not related.
1. They get to be affectionate and you don't
2. You are viewing your relationship through comparing it to some other relationship
As far as her rules about what you can and can't do with your boyfriend, I suggest the following response "I get that you are insecure and putting rules on how my relationship functions might have seemed like a good idea when you thought of it... but I'll take care of how I relate to people and you do the same for yourself. I'm going to sit in my boyfriends lap now, because that's what I feel like doing"

Viewing relationships by comparing them to someone elses relationship or weighing it by what you are "not getting" is fundamentally flawed. I suggest adjusting your view to "what do I like about my relationship?" and "is this bringing me joy?" etc. Even if there wasn't a possessive other girlfriend scenario, the "no fair" approach to relating is for kids... focus on what you are getting.
Me: male, 40, straight, single
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