Originally Posted by Cleo
blood is thicker bla bla bla. And it is that norm that is feeding my guilt.
This made me chuckle.
My brother has called me "cold" before. That classification always makes me think of the movie State of Grace. Long story short, the brother is emotionally bullying the sister and she finally tells him that she's not having any of it. He tells her she's "so cold" and she responds "Cold is what we call people when they won't do what we want them to anymore"... love it.
I find that I have given my family (my brother in particular) a great deal more leeway than I have other people. I guess it's the fact that he and I grew up together. The problem comes in when this distant sense of childhood connection brings me to feel like I "owe" him something. To him I'm always "so cold" but I feel like I'm just giving him the respect he is due (not much).
In the end, guilt and duty are horrible reasons to take action when it comes to personal relationships. We should take action because we want to, because it feels good to do so, not because we will feel guilty if we don't or we will be judged by someone for saying "No, I'm not going to do that".
Family is tough and I don't think your confusion is unreasonable.