As often is the case, expressing my thoughts here has spurred me into opening up a converstation in person.
After talking to my bf, the situation is much different than I expected. He has a very different view on the words 'I love you' based on his own experience with them. They mean little to him and are associated with the pain of previous relationships that went badly. I may never hear him say those words to me.
He says I'm 'the person he cares about most in the world' and so many other wonderful affirmations of his feelings, he just can't use those particular words.
I find myself very upset by this realization, having to let go of the desire to hear them is a bit like grieving.
I don't understand why I need to hear him tell me he loves me, can't let go of the notion just yet. Why are those words seemingly so much more powerful than anything else he says? He can express his feelings so eloquently, make me feel so loved. Am I just being stupidly stubborn to want to hear him say those words specifically?