those three little words
I think this is more of a general relationship question, but it has been weighing heavily on my mind with no real solution in sight.
My husband of nearly 14 years loves me, he says and shows it all the time. My bf of 6 months is a bit of a trickier issue. For many reasons that I do accept and understand, he has not been able to verbalize the words 'I love you'. That being said, I feel so loved by him. He is thoughtful and romantic and tender, he has given me such confidence and enriched my life so much.
A recent example, we were on the bus yesterday, holding hands, talking and stealing kisses from each other. An older woman tapped me on the shoulder, she said "I hope you are always so gentle with each other". If total strangers can see how much we mean to each other, then why isn't that enough?
I love him, very much. Part of me wouldn't change how he expresses his feelings for me, as the rational part of my brain reasons that it's just as wonderful to 'feel' loved vs. to hear the words.
There's just this stubborn, insecure part of me that longs so much for him to verbalize his feelings. Like I can't really know his feelings until he can 'admit' to them.
I find this so difficult to bring up with him, I don't want to pressure him. I want him to express himself however he is comfortable, when he is ready.
How do I quiet that little voice of doubt? How can I accept how he expresses love? Because he is wonderful and I want to understand where my insecurities are coming from.
My husband has recently entered into his own poly relationship with a woman and we're both anxiously waiting to see where it will go. He believes he is falling in love with her, which triggers jealousy only in the fact that she will know his feelings, with words and actions. It feels so strange to be happy for him with this stuck in my head.
I've tried to focus on how he shows his affection in other ways, the list is endless and I know he cares about me a great deal. I believe he does love me, he just can't say it right now.
I have had very limited relationship exprerience, (my husband and my bf, thats it) has anyone else had to deal with this from a partner?
Any insights, thoughts, stories to share, would be appreciated.
Last edited by booklady78; 02-07-2010 at 05:54 AM.