DH and my ex had it out last night. March has nothing on what happened last night. She was out of line because she approached and confronted him in a public place. We were out with our friends, and she dropped in unexpectedly. He was calm and ignoring her until she pushed him too far and asked why he was blocking her from seeing "her" children? The look he gave me was, "Did she really just ask me that?" I told him to just let it go because she knew she was pushing triggers. He asked her, "Excuse me? What did you say?" She repeated it but in his face. He chuckled and shook his head. He told her that they were never her children and never will be. He also told her that they were none of her business, and the last time he checked [insert his full name here] and [my full name here] were the only parents of [duckie #1's full name] and [duckie #2's full name] listed on the birth certificates. He told her that real parents do not choose when to be parents because it is a lifetime job and that he never asked her to be anything for our children. She brought up when he left for a couple of weeks. He was looking her in her eyes when he stated, "I knew more of about was going on with them 14k km away than makeshift mummy did 4 km away from them. Never question my parenting." To throw salt in that sliced open wound, he informed her that our daughter has made it clear that she does not want to see her or be around her. It did not stop there. Every hurt he has felt over the past five years came out and his true feelings about her were revealed. Someone said rip the scab off? It was ripped off. My best friend's DH was able to convince him to walk away to help calm him down.
In 14 years of knowing him, I have never seen him that mad. DH does not have a temper. He is not volatile or violent. He rarely raises his voice. He is really laid back and easygoing. He is passionate but always calm. That side of him was not present last night, and I knew for sure that she had set off a volcano inside of him. There was no stopping him once he started ripping her a new arsehole.
My best friend and I were left to deal with her. I was disappointed and disgusted by her behaviour, so my words were limited. If I had doubts about severing ties with her, last night confirmed why I made the right decision. I honestly have nothing to say to her. If she wanted to get my attention, she got it, but for all the wrong reasons because I watched her disrespect herself and my husband. We have no future, and if she was really my friend, she would have never done anything to embarrass me or intentionally hurt someone I love.
I refuse to let this ruin my birthday weekend. The only person I can control is myself. I am in a cheery disposition, and nothing is going to ruin it. We have a counselling appointment in a few hours, and we can discuss what happened then. Other than this snafu, birthday celebrations are in full effect in about 11 hours, and I am spending the entire weekend with my loved ones.
Moving on, moving forward, and officially disengaging from 12 years with my ex. This blog served its purpose, but I am sure no one wants to read about this next chapter of my life and my new normal. That being said, I will not be updating this blog much, if at all, but I will be on the forum from time to time.