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Old 02-06-2010, 03:28 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231

Hi JVL - and welcome !

Originally Posted by jvlpdillon View Post
I am not concerned if she happens to also be attracted to another person. Her response seemed a bit less so toward me. "Just get whatever it is you need to do out of your system just let me know what is going on. I may be jealous but fine."
Well - what I sense from your writing is that you two have a very wonderful and mature relationship. That's worth a lot ! And it's a good foundation for you both exploring some things while supporting each other. And that's something not everyone has - so be grateful !

The 'do what you need to' part shows maturity and love but it's heavily attached to a common stereotype of the 'mid-life crisis - blah blah blah" There's an unvoiced assumption there that it's 'just sex' and will pass once the curiosity is satisfied. Far more realistic attitude than many have !

Given that you are already (both apparently) at that comfort level, I'd suggest playing the 'What if..' scenarios out. Do some reading. LOTs of material available - in books, on-line etc. Try to get some discussions going so you can both reach a comfort level discussing emotionally sensitive topics.
Play out for each of you the 'What if...' there becomes an emotional connection with another person. As you'll discover from your study, there really is no inherent danger in that ! But it IS work ! Start doing some of that work now !
If in the end - it ends up really being more of just a sexual thing - learning never hurt anyone. But flipping that scenario around can be nasty. It's totally in your power to avoid that right now

Good luck.
We're all here to help any way we can !

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