How about-not making that decision per se?
My boyfriend, GreenGecko,
We met 20 years ago.
We were friends.
Then we were lovers.
Then I moved and we were friends who talked a lot about sexy stuff.
Then I moved again.
We became lovers again.
We now live together with my husband. We have a child. We are family.
But-through it all we were best friends and we loved each other.
The key-and this isn't always easy to learn to do-but once you force yourself to-it's really awesome;
is accepting whatever it is you can give/be to each other in the moment. Instead of projecting forward.
We kept our projection to-I will always love you. We didn't try to force that love to fit into any specific label. That is precisely we are still together today. Because we didn't bail on our love and friendship just because there were times we couldn't give each other the depth of love and commitment we wanted to have sometime.
"Love As Thou Wilt"