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Old 02-06-2010, 03:07 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231

Hi Beautiful,

Hey - now that's cool - to be able to say that without someone getting offended !
Welcome to the board. Good people here it seems and loads of information & perspectives.

Originally Posted by BeautifulSilence View Post
.........So, after a year we decided that we wanted more. So, we split up, and started seeing other people. We love each other very much, and we are still sexually involved, and have been the entire time (except while seeing other people).
So...I'm just wondering. Why the "split up" when seeing others? Is it just because that's the way you understand relationships are 'supposed' to work ? What you were taught ? I think this will be an interesting first analysis

Originally Posted by BeautifulSilence View Post
My question is, is a polyamorous relationship something that we should consider?
I echo Ciel's comment on that. Especially at first, I'd just avoid ANY labels whenever possible. The dynamics of love etc resist attempts to label them Whenever you try you end up creating more questions than finding answers, get all confused, and miss the entire point and the experience sometimes. Learn, live & trust your heart. In that order.

As you'll find from reading & studying, polyamory is really what the terms allude to - basically being in loving, open, honest relationships with multiple people. 'Love' is basically an undefined (undefinable) term but any attempt carries with it certain components like compassion, honesty, ethical behavior etc.

And in reality, you'll probably have no problem including men in your life. Let's face it - the possibilities you bring to the relationship are most men's biggest fantasy ! But that will introduce it's own complexities in time. Fantasy can often be very different than reality
I'd recommend trying to focus attention on the compatibility and potential for deeper relationships and try to de-emphasize the sexual piece. Potential men that will be a good long term fit are going to have to connect with the fact that being in such a relationship will have to involve a LOT more than endless 3-sums with two hot bi chicks LOL

Good luck - don't hurry.

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