Originally Posted by Dirtclustit
Equate honesty with ownership. Yes, of course, the problem here was obviously darkwillows attempts to physically and emotionally, hell lets just throw in spiritually as really what happened here was an ownership issue.
I understand that some people need excuses to live their life the way they choose guilt free, and hopefully one day everyone will understand the finer points between right and wrong and people will just be OK with living their life and doing others no harm, because all every time some insecure assbackwards "enlightened" thinker needs to assign some aspect of ugliness or wrong into another's way of life in order to feel comfortable in theirs, it makes you stick out like a sore thumb.
I know that "ownership" get's thrown around like Republicans toss the word "entitlement" into everywhere it doesn't fit, but stooping to assertions, catch phrases, and descriptions that are flat out bullshit wrong or even just philosophical ideas based on fallacy, it really doesn't do any form of non-monogamy -- including polyamory -- any good what-so-ever.
If you are catching hell from some idiot who for any reason tries to tell that everything besides one man with one woman is wrong, just ignore them of tell them to fuck off, because anytime you are just trying to inflame or irritate such a dipshit it isn't going to do you any good in the long run.
Honesty has nothing to do with ownership, it is more about respect than anything, so whoever made up the wallet-sized cards of "good responses" to a persecution by an idiot, I am sure you guys put a lot of time and serious effort into the best way to address and get yourself over the hurdle, but seriously, you might want to through in some real life experience instead think tank parties as they are not the answer to every problem.
honestly can't see where where the sex with God part fits in, so maybe it's just anarchy poly pro's way of a civilized to approach something he is not willing to discuss?
Is there somethin you trying say mister Marcus?
To the original poster, everyone does stupid fucked things, and unless it's something the continue to deny there are very few things that a person is incapable of learning from their mistake and addressing the issue, solving the problem.
Sometimes that requires re-evaluating your core beliefs and recognizing some truth to the way the world is in reality, as opposed to how we wish it was, but nobody is under any obligation to allow people into any part of their lives that they feel uncomfortable with.
It really doesn't matter where the root of the problems exist, or if another person has a completely different view, and even possibly doesn't see anything wrong with what was done and even thinks you are the problem, nobody has the right nor authority to dictate what goes on in your life, nobody can rightfully tell you where you must draw the lines of acceptable behavior for your friends or lovers, NOBODY, not your bf, not your husband, if you are a minor living at home your parents or legal guardian can attempt to control you until you are eighteen, some poly families have rules in their households and there is nothing wrong with that so long as you minds meet, and your values are shared.
If they are do not, I would suggest you find a different house the same way you would find a different church if they disrespected something as private as sex and sexuality, or had the nerve to tell you that they had the right to invade your privacy.
I've had both religious organization and "poly" families both violate my life in unethical and illegal ways, it wasn't the best experience in my life and I don't let false churches affect my spirituality the same as I don't bad poly affect my views on non-monogamy.
Sometimes it is hard not to bring up my experience with Christianity and polyamory, but I realize that other people's experience isn't going to be the same as mine so I mostly let it go, but there on occasion the church says something that is just about the stupidist fucking thing I have ever heard so I will speak critically of them, you'd think they would quit their shit, and leave me alone but idiots are born everyday, and then there are always the ignorance that is taught.
have the courage to identify those who add to your quality of life and only understand nobody can force you to accept a life that you are not OK with
it is totally reasonable to require honesty, it is completely understandable to not allow that person back into your life until they can be honest with you and it's even all right to say you've had enough and not associate with him altogether no matter what he does or how he changes.