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Old 02-06-2010, 06:38 AM
jvlpdillon jvlpdillon is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1
Default potential poly/friendship help

I have an amazing wife of 15 years who is my best friend and lover. I find it difficult to only have the one true friend. As expected I have outside interests but the people Iork with and family don't quite fit the bill. While I would not consider either of us to be conservative we have each always been friendly with both men and women but never have had defined friends or relationships outside of our marriage with the opposite gender. We always just assumed the societal norms.

I talked to wife recently about the idea of us each having friends / relationships outside our marriage as a way to grow our individual lives regardless of gender. The idea of friendship was a duh moment. Of course neither cared and are encouraged. As our did, friendships can lead to attraction. I am not concerned if she happens to also be attracted to another person. Her response seemed a bit less so toward me. "Just get whatever it is you need to do out of your system just let me know what is going on. I may be jealous but fine."

I took the back handed permission as please don't do this. This also made me hesitant to bring anything up again to continue the conversation. I only would consider having an open relationship if she were honestly happy with the idea. This made me feel like I can't pursue friends either. Clearly I would like to open the conversation again I am not sure how to re-open this. I feel as if she will think if I meet someone I am just looking to sleep with them which is not the case but may happen.

Thanks for the help. If I am out of line I don't mind hearing that too.
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