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Old 07-31-2013, 01:32 AM
monkeystyle monkeystyle is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: South of Chicago, IL
Posts: 149

Originally Posted by Marcus View Post
So you are angry that you learned someone you are currently dating had sex with someone without permission while they were in a monogamous relationship? This is something that happened in the past, yes? This is something that happened when he was in a relationship which had nothing to do with you, right?

I understand that it can be shocking to discover that someone you know very well has done something, in the past, which is against your moral code. However, I think it is valuable to keep things in reasonable perspective and not let yourself surrender entirely to knee-jerk emotion.

Someone who was horny, had a video tape, was not willing to deny himself the pleasure of sex with a new and willing partner, and was not willing to divulge it to his monogamous partner.

You felt good about saying this? I don't think that is a good sign.

He told a lie and had sex with a willing partner... you wished genital torture on him... would you really consider this to be the higher moral stance?

I get that it is socially acceptable to completely lose ones mind over someone cheating. It is in basically all popular media, that you can jump up and scream, wale and gnash, call names, physically assault, ruin financial futures, abscond with their children... but is any of that rational?

As thinking adults who are accountable for our emotional outbursts we should strive to rise above this kind of reactionary zealot-ism. This person rubbed genitals with another person "without permission". How dare he... his genitals should be mutilated... right? No, of course not; that would be psychotic.

My advice? Grow up - talk to him and see what he has to say. Or leave him because you don't trust his word anymore... either way, this irrational hate is not going to help anyone.
My thoughts exactly. He did something quite wrong, but most people do something quite wrong at one time or another. The world is filled with things to be outraged about, in fact. How we react says more about ourselves than about the transgression committed.
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