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Old 07-30-2013, 03:25 PM
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Anyanka Anyanka is offline
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Well .. he and I talked and he addressed the 'DTR' talk which is what bought me to this forum in the first place.

He wants him and me to be a 'hub' .. the most significant person in each other's lives without marriage/labels whatever ... this is exactly what I wanted (Needed??) to hear. It's perfect.

Bad news is: he thinks he needs to stay in his city for another 12 months and although there will be visits - I am not sure I can do another 12 months without going batshit crazy.

We aren't 'back on' as I told him I need to think things through - I have concerns about seeing others in a distance thing as well .. I am not sure that given that this is new to me anyhow that distance won't just exacerbate those initial teething issues.

I am not entirely sure how to bring all of this up .. whether or not to outline what will or won't work for me and leave it up to him to be okay/not okay with it or, hang in there for the short term and see how we go or, stick with my decision to walk away before it just gets even harder to.

Is it reasonable to say that I am not comfortable with either of us dating while we are still working at being together? That any issues that may come up are not going to be easily dealt with at a distance? I just cannot see me being okay with someone else being able to see him/spend time with him while I am stuck on a computer/phone ..

Be gentle with me .... I am not trying to control him .. I am trying to be honest with what I am quite sure will be my issues and save us both from some angst.

I don't even know how to express this to him without coming across as controlling .. I am okay with exploring his needs, I really am .. but I just think asking me to be okay with it from here, while he is there is a big ask (he hasn't asked, but, 12 months?. . I figure it is bound to come up)
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