I've read some variations of that type of very strictly closed dynamic.
I think it's toooooo... something!
For us-it's more of a safety for the kids issue.
We're VERY family oriented-so anyone coming into our life needs to be comfortable with kids and safe for our kids to be comfortable with.
BUT-GG's best friend-doesn't socialize with the family, his lifestyle isn't compatible with our family lifestyle, but that doesn't mean he can't be best friends with GG. Just means they have to work a little harder to create social times that don't negatively impact GG's time with our kids.
Likewise-Maca has friends who aren't involved with the family for similar reasons.
I don't-but I almost always have the kids-so it's a bit different.
I realize those aren't lovers-but it would be the same thing. IF one of us had a lover who wanted other lovers-those other lovers may or may not be able to easily socialize with our family-just depends on if it's a 'fit' for them AND the kids. (we do have easy going kids who are fully aware of polyamory so that part isn't an issue).
And as far as going out-if for example, we went out the "three of us" and GG had a girlfriend who was going too, and she wanted to invite her other boyfriend-that's fine. If we aren't hanging with the kids-it's not our place to define the social atmosphere and who is or isn't welcome.
Really only strict in that one specific area and in the agreement that if any of us three is sexually involved with another person-we want that person to be someone we can all be friends with, not a "secret" and us not a "secret" to them either...
"Love As Thou Wilt"
Last edited by LovingRadiance; 02-11-2010 at 04:37 AM.