One day I'm thoroughly in love with N, my secondary. And then in the blink of an eye, this person changed, morphed into something awful.
My husband and his secondary K were trying to find a video that N had downloaded (N was at work) and in the process of trying to find it they came across two video files. Of N having sex without protection.
Based on the decor in the room in the video it became clear that he did this while he and K were mono. He cheated. And videotaped himself having unprotected sex with another girl. Twice. Two different girls in fact. And then kept said videos to watch later. I cannot even begin to understand the kind of person who would do such a thing.
He tried calling me the next morning after I found out but I was just so thoroughly disgusted with him, so incredibly hurt that he would cheat on K, that I couldn't say much more than "you deserve to have a 10" rusty screw shoved down your dick." Not productive, but I felt better for saying it.
And yeah, he confirmed he took the videos without either girls's consent.
What makes it even worse is I know one of the girls. She told me that he had cheated on K with her and I didn't believe her.
Having known her half my life I know she's a pathological liar so I just dismissed it as more of her drama.
He's begged for forgiveness multiple times but as I told him, there are a few transgressions that are simply unforgivable. Cheating being at the top of the list for me. And really, why cheat when you know your gf wants to be poly
I guess I'm just incredibly confused since I can't seem to reconcile the absolutely repugnant person who did that and the person I fell in love with.
Was the person I knew just a facade? How do I begin to forgive him? I know I'll never think of him in the same way I used to and that makes me so incredibly sad.
Any thoughts or advice is greatly appreciated.