Thread: Coming out
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  #256  
Old 07-29-2013, 11:27 PM
starmonkey starmonkey is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2013
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It seems like some parents have a well honed skill at shaming their children for not following what they think you should be or do. Does not strike me as the unconditional love I would expect to see from good parents. It does not surprise me to hear they were abusive.

I never got a chance to come out to my parents about my being poly, their reaction to my sexuality (bisexual) summarily disqualified them from further privilege of being in my life. It was incredibly painful at the time, but I took back all the power they were trying to take from me by laying it out to them in black and white:

You are not entitled to have a relationship with me unless you can accept who I am. This is not a negotiable issue.

The day I laid this out to them I stopped being parented by them and stared parenting myself. I turned out to be a much better parent: my first successful action was to protect me from 2 abusive adults. I also established that a relationship with me was not their right, but a privilege - this reinforced my feeling of value. I get to call the shots in my life, not them.

Thats the best I have; I wish I had something I could offer you besides my experience to make you feel better in the moment.
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