Sorry for the response delay
I was out of town. Thank you all for your replies, so much. I was actually thinking about going out with her, without him for a few reasons. I didnt want to be constantly watching their body language, or to wait and see if he kisses us both goodnight. Right or wrong, I know myself well enough to know that I will watch, and that isnt fair to anyone. I figured if we went out without him, then we could just get to know each other, if I have a relationship with any of these other women, I dont want it to be only because we happen to be dating the same person.
FindingMyselfInTheGrey: It does sound like we are in very similar places!
Thank you for sharing what happened with your casual meeting. It helped a lot, as I am still really scared about it all. I think when you have been 'mono' the majority of your life, you learn other women/men to be threats...not friends.
So, overcoming that whole, 'you're trying to take my man' or 'how is she BETTER than I am?' can be difficult to overcome.
I will definitely keep you posted as I have received so much help here, I hope to be able to pay it forward soon!!
"If you love a flower, don't pick it up. Because if you pick it up it dies & it ceases to be what you love. So if you love a flower, let it be. Love is not about possession. Love is about appreciation." -Osho