Thank you for the replies.
Maleficent, of course I would not want anyone leaving their children with someone that risked their security. My question was, if the children's safety is not an issue, if the children like and are comfortable with the children, would that in ITSELF threaten your role as their mother? Or would you be happy that the children had found someone who could take care of them in your absence. I am referring to irrational fear, not real.
Atlantis, thank you. I am hoping to find more people out there like you.
Flear, while your opinion is valid, I'm not really looking for people to speak for others. It would be more helpful to me if YOU had ever felt threatened (i.e. replaced) as a father figure by your wife's partners. Say, for example, if you found out the children had had a GREAT day with one of those partners....or perhaps he'd given them a birthday present that they loved.
It is not unheard of (nor unreasonable!) for a partner in that case to get jealous, not of their partner, but of their metamour.
I am very much interested in how people have handled that particular jealousy.