I read the" how to quote section" and still couldn't work it out...
"There are non pathetic sad faced wussy Poly men who might have more time available."
This hits the nail on the head. Stay away from the monos and those not really poly and those with long lists of restrictions. The veto is deeply worrisome and apparently has been wielded frequently in the past.
"Well personally I wouldn't, since I don't want a monogamous relationship. If you would actually dump your current more casual relationships for monogamy OTOH than I would just tell the prospective person that I am seeing others but am open to monogamy."
After much thought last night, I couldn't just dump them. Things are going well apart from the time frustration. There is a lot more more emotional attachment on both sides than I made out ( reserved Brit ).
"Better to be honest (as you were) no point in dragging out an incompatible relationship."
Agreed, I need to be even quicker about it and avoid meeting people who are not poly or poly minded.
"However, FWIW, are you sure you are soloish poly? Or are you rather just a single woman dating around until you find the one?
They're not really the same thing to be honest."
No, I am really not looking for "the one" but someone who can work with my current relationships. This is the clarity that I didn't have when I met N. But I do have it now for going forward.