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Old 07-29-2013, 08:37 AM
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Natja Natja is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 838

Originally Posted by Atlantis View Post
As I was getting frustrated with this I decided to start dating. We have been together for a year and are very close.
with a list of rules a mile long.........and are having a lot of fun.

Would I give up my 2 guys to go mono?
Well I think the pertinent lines are above, it seems you are close to the first bloke and are having a lot of fun with the second. I don't know, 'would' you?

Do I have to give up my guys before I re-enter mono world in the hopes of finding someone without a primary ( time restricted ).
The question really is should you? And only you can answer that really, but if you are enjoying their company and the only problem is that you want someone around who has more time to dedicate to you, than that is what I would look for, I guess the problem is, it seems that with blokes your only options are: date a poly bloke and deal with being less than secondary depending on what rules his primary decides for him (pathetic sad faced wussy man) OR date a single bloke and run the risk that he will want you to himself.....

But....there is another way..

There are non pathetic sad faced wussy Poly men who might have more time available.

How do you navigate the early stages of a new relationship to leave the option of mono?
Well personally I wouldn't, since I don't want a monogamous relationship. If you would actually dump your current more casual relationships for monogamy OTOH than I would just tell the prospective person that I am seeing others but am open to monogamy.

Should I not have bought up the other 2 guys after 3 dates?
Better to be honest (as you were) no point in dragging out an incompatible relationship.

However, FWIW, are you sure you are soloish poly? Or are you rather just a single woman dating around until you find the one?
They're not really the same thing to be honest.

Last edited by Natja; 07-29-2013 at 08:42 AM. Reason: it needed it
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