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Old 07-29-2013, 03:29 AM
Atlantis Atlantis is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 901
Default Solo Poly meets Mono

I have been lurking on the forums and I am hopeful of some interesting feedback.

After 10 years of marriage I am back out exploring the world one activity at a time .I am 41 and share parenting of 2 children. I love to go and try new things and see new places..herein lies the problem...
After much reading, I identify as solo polyish. Not looking for a full-time, escalator type relationship, but open to it.

Currently in a relationship with C ( 50) , he is married with a DADT policy. He has time restrictions, no overnights and no weekends. Mainly we meet, eat and have great sex. As I was getting frustrated with this I decided to start dating. We have been together for a year and are very close.

I meet A(53) , in an open relationship with a list of rules a mile long, including veto and no dates more than 16 hours and only 1 date per week which usually falls mid-week as he is with his primary most weekends. We have great dates, lots of fun activities and are experimenting with BDSM. But back to the frustration of not being to do weekends away or travel. We have been together 6 months and are having a lot of fun.

I meet N (37 never married ). We have a few dates, I like him, he likes me. I bring up the expectations conversation. I say I am seeing 2 people who are in open relationships and the time restrictions aren't working for me, I am looking for someone who has time and wants to use it being active. The poor dude is shocked, says he is looking for one person to date and move towards a serious relationship.

I don't think he will call me again but it raised some questions for me...

Would I give up my 2 guys to go mono?
How do you navigate the early stages of a new relationship to leave the option of mono?
Should I not have bought up the other 2 guys after 3 dates?
Do I have to give up my guys before I re-enter mono world in the hopes of finding someone without a primary ( time restricted ).

Thanks for any thoughts.
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