Originally Posted by nycindie
That is WEIRD!
I don't think I've read your intro, but does your husband expect you to be involved with her, too? After revealing an infidelity, you're all supposed to be happy-go-lucky-let's-jump-in-the-sack? Are you even into women at all? Has your husband made any attempts to work toward earning back your trust? If not, why not, and are you asking for what you need?
No he does not expect it however it is something that she has made very clear that she wants. tonight I spoke with her about me reservations about tonight and she said that she understands and we will be friends for now.
Also yes I am into girls and have been with both separately and as a group. He has been working very hard to earn my trust as well as hers back since she was lied to also.
Here is the issue I am struggling with...
She met him thinking this was going to be a poly relationship from the beginning they met built a foundation and then I found out, as far as she knew I was in the know the whole time. Now that I know months later they feel like everyone has been together for months where as it has been a week for me and only one face to face meeting. I have explained it to them and they understand but can i really blame them for it being difficult to pretend that they don't already have a relationship? Logically I understand mentally it is hard.
In case my comment about finding something to wear is confusing to anyone else reading there is no deeper issue. Think of it as more of a peacock flashing the biggest most colorful tail feathers. I feel like it is a competition for attention. The bad thing is she is not trying to make me feel that way and neither is he it is in my own head. Is that a normal response???