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Old 07-28-2013, 07:31 PM
Flear Flear is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Chilliwack, BC
Posts: 116

Dejaye74, ...

it's good to hear your making improvements in your life.
it sucks that your sulking.

figure out what you want, wanting your wife (separated) to be happy is great, ... if that's all you want, then ask your wife is she wants pet. (that's harsh , ...

do you have your own goals, your own interests, things you want to do, things that are important to you, ... things that your wife (separated) takes second place to, (sounds selfish, but it's not)

if your worried about your own needs not being met in the relationship, ... it's not your wives responsibility to make you feel wanted, or appreciated, (unless she wants a pet - doesn't sound like it), that's stuff you gotta find in yourself, ...

you have to find appreciation for yourself, instead of being dependent on your wife (separated) to make you feel appreciated.

what are you doing that your proud of, an accomplishment, something that you can make progress and see the progress, ... could be be as large as a boat or rebuilding a vehicle, could be learning a new language (including computer languages), starting a business, finding a hobby, ... seeing your son smile at you as he knows you have his back, ... whatever it is, it's something you know your doing and accomplishing regardless of what anyone else has to say or do about it.

not that it's alright to snap on people who get in the way, but it gives you something you are accomplishing, think of it more as an excersize in self-worth, what's the last thing you've done that you were satisfied in finishing ?

if you've made the last 13 years of your life trying to show your wife that your responsible for her happiness and that's your accomplishment, as if she isn't able to learn to be happy on her own, ... i can see that building some resentment. ... if your upset that you've put in all that work and your seeing her walk away without you getting anything in return for all your hard work, ... i can see a profound loss that your not getting what you feel you deserve.

be happy for your wife, but don't be responsible for her happiness
be happy for yourself, find yourself, tell everyone who gets in your way of you being happy, ... tell them all off.
find your own worth, by your standards that say your worth it.

let your wife live her life, live your own life.

sure want your lives to be together, but that's two people who are living together, not two people who are trying to pretend to be one person

so if your lonely, knock it off, quit being lonely, make yourself busy, find value and accomplishment in your own life for what you've done. not because your wife was proud of you.


and for your physical needs, ... there's porn, and lots of it, so you'll never get bored.

Last edited by Flear; 07-28-2013 at 07:36 PM.
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