Thread: Wide Awake
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Old 07-27-2013, 05:34 PM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: English Rose by birth; Calling the Southern Hemi home by choice.
Posts: 915

Originally Posted by kdt26417 View Post
Sounds to me like things are going quite a bit better. Can I ask, do you feel like there's an empty place inside where poly would/should be? If not, then I reckon it is fine to live monogamously.
I have no warm feelings surrounding it. I am actually quite a cynic now. When I read certain things about poly, I find myself thinking, "Ugh. That is bullshit." I have found no positives that it brought in to my life. I read about other people's, and I cannot relate to a single one. I just feel like I should be able to find one, and to this date, I still have not. I cannot even say a friendship with Si because I know I need to remove myself from that. I cannot say poly helped me to deal with my issues. I knew some of

My best friend likened it to my last pregnancy, which was a hell filled experience. She asked me was my son worth it, and if I would go through it again because I knew it would be worth it in the end? Absolutely. I want another child. She asked me if I would be willing to go through any of this (marital counselling, drama with Matt/Si, the disengagement of my child from Si, the subtle disapproval of my parents, the in-laws blackballing my ex, not having a relationship with my MIL, all the arguments, etc.) again and if it was worth it? My response was absolutely...not. As far as all of this, if only I knew then what I know now.
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