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Old 07-27-2013, 05:17 PM
bookbug bookbug is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 757

Originally Posted by Anyanka View Post
More excellent advice - thanks.

I need to do some adjustment in my thinking and in particular my vocab.
You are not the only one who has trouble with vocabulary. Our societal vocabulary is built for traditional coupledom - and words do create pictures that affect how we think. My SO and I have struggled with this very thing. Our relationship was resurrected from a failed triad. While our relationship is very strong, we do not feel like a couple. We feel like two individuals who are very special to one another. But there is little vocabulary to describe this. I know many people use the terms bf / gf, but we both shy away from it because for us those terms mean couple. The closest accurate term I use is SO, because it didn't come out of our Christian dominated societal vocabulary. My SO giggles and uses the term "special lady friend" taken from the movie, The Big Lebowski.

Originally Posted by Anyanka View Post
Just so you know, we had a video skype chat this morning for a couple of hours and (based upon what you had said here) I told him that I had considered his question about my 'expectations' and that really, what I want is what we already have .. just with him closer .. he seemed a little surprised but very happy with that response.. I am going to bring up the needs/wants list as per your suggestion when we are next face to face (I am off to visit in a couple of weeks) .. but, for the moment, this seems to have made us both feel better - so, thanks.
I am so glad to hear it!
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