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Old 07-27-2013, 05:58 AM
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Anyanka Anyanka is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BigGuy View Post
I might be able to speak to point number 1.

I don't believe I experience love as an emotion like most other people do. I experience NRE, hard, but when that is over, there's not much there. That being said, I enjoy the company of cohabitation and prefer it to being alone. I am where I am because that's where I want to be.

For me, love is a conscious decision. It is making decisions every day about doing things that enhance our relationship. It is making decisions every day about doing those things that I know will enhance my life in the long run. I love my wife. I want and do that which is best for her taking into account that which is best for me. I just don't experience it as an emotion.

It's taken her some time to wrap her brain around that just as it still takes me time to feel comfortable with those who make decisions based on emotions.

If he wants to be with you, he will be with you. As long as you can communicate your needs to each other and are willing to adapt to meet them, does it really matter if he's "faking" it?
Thanks so much for sharing your experience with me .. this was incredibly helpful - I can see exactly where you are coming from and it does help to dilute what, for me, seemed a direct contradiction in him .. I couldn't reconcile what he was saying in any way .. but this, what you have written, makes perfect sense.

I do hope that he isn't just experiencing NRE .. distance does tend to amp up the emotional and prolong the 'new' phase somewhat .. but, we are both grown-ups now and hopefully know our own minds and hearts
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