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Old 02-05-2010, 02:49 AM
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Ravenesque Ravenesque is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: New York
Posts: 297

Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
But when you (general you) say "people feel marginalized, it's a big problem and you need to do somethign about it...."

Well that's not something I can work with.
It's a matter of awareness of how human beings are connected. People are marginalized so that others may have dominance. People are oppressed so that others may have privilege. Some people lash out violently when their place in these dynamics are spoken about. Those who state "these dynamics do not exist in my world or in my area," or as you LR state that there is a problem with stating that there is a responsibility of every human being to be aware and address the roles they play in marginalizing others, well this only serves to perpetuate the problem.

Originally Posted by Ceoli View Post
One doesn't have to feel marginalized to be in the dynamic of marginalization. As I said earlier, most people don't even KNOW when they may be marginalizing others. The only way to break that dynamic is by hard and brutally honest self-examination.

I went into some very specific ways to start that process and it was ignored in this thread by everyone but Raven.

Also, I find it frustrating that people assume we think these issues important because we feel marginalized. I happen to think these issues important because I believe the mechanism of how people marginalize others is a harmful thing to society and to people, so I choose work against it. The hardest work I do is from my place of white privilege, not from feeling marginalized in some poly group for being single. But the dynamic is the same.
I agree and I spoke to this point illustrating several examples where people form alliances and join groups even though the group's goal is to address the needs and experiences of people other than themselves.

There are those who genuinely care about people other than themselves and seek to stop social structures that disadvantage others while recognizing where these structures benefit them. They actively work together and work against accepting oppression as the norm they were trained to think it was. This includes stopping the replication of these structures in communities we create for ourselves such as the polyamorous community.

It is disheartening that such derision has been directed at Ceoli here because she is vocal about issues of privilege. Contrary to implications otherwise, she is entitled to voice these views and serves as a welcome ally in creating change.

It is a surprise for me to see within this forum the rejection of people joining each other across difference in this way. Even so much that it is stated that it is quite normal to be repelled by difference. It lends an undertone of dis-ingeniousness to the forum where love and acceptance is so often spoken of.

Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
As i said before-in order to really know how to reach out to address it-I need to have specifics and as I don't experience it or know anyone who does-I don't know.
BUT I'd love ideas and am willing to work on trying to implement them.
All right. Does this justify belittling others' choose to address the issue?

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Last edited by Ravenesque; 02-05-2010 at 02:54 AM.
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