Another thing that I must be careful to not let spill over into other / new reationships, is the fact that I had a very close, 'domestic' relationship with C and I miss not having that. Well I have it with Ren of course but it was such a new adventure for me to share this with someone else as well (something I never even thought I would be interested in, but it all flowed so naturally with him). Being in his house, cooking, feeling at home there, having his key in my bag at all times, sometimes I spent a day alone in his house, writing, while he was at work.
I noticed that I am reaching out to MrBrown more to plan dates and stuff, and this is not our / his style, and it upsets me when its not happening, and then I realize I don't really WANT the 'domesticness' with him. I just miss that part of my relationship with C.
I also want to make sure I approach new people with an open mind and not with a set expectation of what a new connection should look like.
New People: not giving hem names yet, but!
I have a date planned with 99%guy for next week. We are having a nce email exchange, he's cute, smart. I think it's possible he is a little too inexperienced in poly for me.. I am really not looking forward to another guy testing this out with me. But, we'll see, I'm very interested to meet him in person.
I also contacted a guy from OKCupid I'd been corresponding with last fall. I think we tried to plan a date, but somehow schedules did not match, and then the conversation sort of fizzled out, and then he dissappeared from OKC. But I recently saw his picture again and was reminded of the nice email exchange we had. He responded immediately and we have a date for next week.
I also contacted the guy I had my first one on one date with 3 years ago. After Ren and I had tried swinging for a bit (and found that that wasn't really what we were after) we met this couple online, and had one date the 4 of us. After that we weren't really dating as a couple anymore, but I did have one more date with just the guy. But this was so soon into our poly explorations, we really weren't ready. I cringe a little when I think of it... Ren was quite jealous, and I had a time frame of about 2 hours alone with this guy, and then Ren came home, guy and me had just rolled out of bed, and Ren had been in a bar with the GF of the guy... and they both came home, and then the 4 of us had a glass of wine, and it was one of the most AWKWARD situations ever.
He popped into my head the other day because he was actually the first person to mention the word poly to me and I was writing about how my introduction to poly had started off. I found his number still stored in my phone, sent him a text message, (hoping that was still his number!) he replied that he's on vacation now but will get back to me when he's back, and that he's looking forward to exchanging stories. I am aware of the fact how dangerous it can be to rekindle something from the past. So I am trying to have no expectations about this.
he's a great guy though, and any connection we could form (even just one night of sharing experiences) would be lovely.
But I also have a lot of extra time now that I'm no longer travelling to see C all the time. It will save me a bunch of money, too (which I can now spend in bars going on first dates haha)