Ok, my partner is in a long distance relationship. They were in a relationship before I came into the picture. Now, I have met his other partner, but that was before we started dating and was very brief at a social event. They visit each other a few times during the year. He went to see her the last time for two weeks.
I can see him daily, so I felt that while he was there, I should limit my phone calls and messaging so that I am not disrupting any time that they may be having together because she is married and has to share her time with her husband as well.
Well, she is coming here next month. I was really excited at first. But, as the time gets closer, Iím starting to worry, and I feel nervous. I know that she has had some jealousy about the amount of time that I get to spend with my partner because we are so much closer (distance). I donít want to upset her while she is here. I feel the same need to give them their space while she is here just like when he was up there. But, my partner has expressed that he desires us to all get together. He wants the family type experience.
When I expressed my concerns to my partner, he told me that she is nervous and worried about meeting me as well. He also shared with me that they will have some work to do because she had asked for his full attention while she was down here for two weeks and he feels that is unfair to meÖ as do I. I want them to have their time, but I donít want to go two weeks without spending some kind of time with him.
And now I feel likeÖ
wow, I was worried about trying to give them their space and making sure she feels comfortable around me, and worrying about my actions and if they might make her feel like I was trying to claim him which I donít want to doÖ and she isnít even considering that she will be taking quite a bit of his time from me, she wants it all! And that upsets me which makes me even more nervous and worried about meeting her now.
So, itís kind of snowballed nowÖ thinking about how she asked him for his full attention made me think about how she will be living with him for two weeks while she is here. So, now I feel jealous. I donít get to live him. And this type of thinking doesnít sit well with me. I am not normally like this, so I need to get out of this mindset. Words of encouragement, advice, etcÖ all would be greatly appreciated!