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Old 07-25-2013, 06:24 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alaska
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcus View Post
I think your approach to relating "I'll manage my life and you manage yours" is fantastic; a diamond in the rough. However, don't forget that part of managing your own life is to decide who you want to associate with and what treatment you will endure.

What I mean is, if you have communicated "Hey, I don't want your relationship advice. I'm sure you mean well but you need to drop that shit" and they still insist upon butting in to your life... what are you prepared to do about that?

1. Stop complaining about it and learn to live your life by their rules
2. Extricate yourself from their lives to whatever degree necessary
Or choose to give them a more specific example because some people really do need a specific example... ?

If I told Maca "I don't want your relationship advice..." he would probably stare at me like I was speaking French.
If I told him "I don't want you to tell me what you think I should do in my relationships with other people." He would understand the words-but still not necessarily grasp what he was doing to upset me.
WHEN I told him "GG and I don't enjoy the same activities together that you and I enjoy. Please don't try to plan dates for us-we can plan our own. I know you were trying to be nice but we have our own way of doing things."
He understood exactly what he was doing (he WAS trying to be nice and plan a dinner out for us at a 5 star restaurant-but we don't DO those things together) and he stopped.

It's a little more complicated when dealing with a metamour-you may not know their communication style/abilities.

I would be more concerned with why your bf isn't handling it-why it's coming to you at all if it's that upsetting. If you and he are on the same page-he should be capable of telling his other partner what HE doesn't want them doing with the relationship he has with you....

(Marcus-was just using your words as a reference point for my thoughts-that wasn't aimed at you. )
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Last edited by LovingRadiance; 07-25-2013 at 06:25 PM. Reason: clarification
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