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Old 07-25-2013, 06:19 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 5,510

I prefer to be friends with metamours (not requirement-just personal preference).
Because of that I do tend to issue *invitations* directly to metamours to participate in activities we have planned as a group. Camping for example.
But-that invite doesn't come with expectation of participation.

I'm wondering if there might be a communication issue coming through?

Not saying there is-you could be 100% right that they are absolutely treading on your ground. I only bring it up because sometimes people misconstrue my intentions. ESPECIALLY if Maca is trying to tell them what I said. Somehow that ALWAYS gets twisted around to people thinking I was issuing demands when I was in fact issuing invitations. *Eye roll* (don't send messages to metamours through him anymore but BOY was that a nightmare)

So I am wondering if maybe your seeing control where friendliness is being issued and/or they aren't hearing what you mean by your sentence of controlling your own relationships-because they don't know or intend to be controlling your relationship?

Its a tough line for some people to know how to express acceptance-because so frequently there is the assumption of possessiveness and jealousy.

Anyway-just a possible perspective to consider.

I absolutely agree that you don't need to go camping if you don't want to-and I think it's logical to assume that you design your relationship with your partner not their other partner.

But I know that it's so easy for people with great differences in perspective to misunderstand each others intentions.
"Love As Thou Wilt"
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