I prefer to be friends with metamours (not requirement-just personal preference).
Because of that I do tend to issue *invitations* directly to metamours to participate in activities we have planned as a group. Camping for example.
But-that invite doesn't come with expectation of participation.
I'm wondering if there might be a communication issue coming through?
Not saying there is-you could be 100% right that they are absolutely treading on your ground. I only bring it up because sometimes people misconstrue my intentions. ESPECIALLY if Maca is trying to tell them what I said. Somehow that ALWAYS gets twisted around to people thinking I was issuing demands when I was in fact issuing invitations. *Eye roll* (don't send messages to metamours through him anymore but BOY was that a nightmare)
So I am wondering if maybe your seeing control where friendliness is being issued and/or they aren't hearing what you mean by your sentence of controlling your own relationships-because they don't know or intend to be controlling your relationship?
Its a tough line for some people to know how to express acceptance-because so frequently there is the assumption of possessiveness and jealousy.
Anyway-just a possible perspective to consider.
I absolutely agree that you don't need to go camping if you don't want to-and I think it's logical to assume that you design your relationship with your partner not their other partner.
But I know that it's so easy for people with great differences in perspective to misunderstand each others intentions.
"Love As Thou Wilt"