she loathes the you that you have become.
It has nothing to do with the boyfriend.
But-you also loathe the you that you have become. So-don't blame the boyfriend or her. Don't even bother blaming yourself. Just look at it for what it is-things about you that need to be maintenanced-and start doing the work.
Seriously-If you want to talk-feel free to pm me.
But-having been through hell and back getting my ass back on track-getting my boyfriend on track and my husband too (we were all fucked up somewhere) has been a lot of work-and we all had to take time to do our part.
It can be done-it's hard work. If you are that confident that you want her-then do the work-focus on the work on YOU.
"Love As Thou Wilt"