Originally Posted by Kraven
What I can't seem to come to terms with is people's false belief that their sexual libitos are sufficiant enough to satisfy the needs, wants and desires of their partner! Soulmate doesn't = the best sex ever...people believe that though! I've never considered myself bad in bed, more times than not I'm complimented for my abilities but even I'm not that cocky to believe every woman is going to drool after me and have mind blowing orgasmic sex everytime!
Being as passionate and complex as I am in bed...knowing my desires, fantasies and wildest dreams may be too extreme for even the freakiest woman alive how do I go about telling a woman she's not good enough to complete my sexual side! How do you break it to her that it takes more than one woman to get that job done?
I love squirters, muti-orgasmic women, DPs, 3somes (MFM and FMF), moaners, screamers, bondage, role playing, cream pies, gangbangs, group sex...i mean the list goes on! I've done many of these things and want to continue doing them (it may sound bad but it makes me feel good)! I realized long ago that mono lacked the freedom to make these things comes true so I concluded on poly (of course sex was NOT the only reason I made the change but even still its the topic of conversation)
But what happens when your partner (or in this case, potential partner) concludes that our "special bond" (you know that thing that just you and her do that no one else can do, that thing that makes her feel loved and like a special lady in your life and helps her control her jealousy during trying times) is that only you and her can have sex?
I feel like that compromise takes away half the joy and leaves me feeling incomplete and void of my desires, fantasies and wildest dreams...the things that mean so much to me! I don't wanna kick another one to the curb...I wanna make it work folks but I just don't know how!
Any advise would so help!!!!!
I'm going right back to the beginning here. Sorry, but I haven't read anything in between, so if I repeat or make a point redundant because I haven't read anything on here I apologize...and ask for patience.
I love this opening to a thread!!! so awesome! you are a kindered spirit indeed I think Kraven. I love you openness and humanity to this topic, it really speaks to me because I have felt it before myself.
I have three men in my life for the very reason you talk about. They each fulfill a need that I have and are all different yet similar in doing so. I found though that once I committed to seeing just how deep we could get and how adventurous then my relationships blossomed more than I ever thought they could.
I guess what did it for me is that I decided that a fuck is a fuck. Casual fucking is all the same really.... got that out of my system and now want depth. People have their ways of being that are exciting to them and to me when they have sex, but everything is fluid and those adventures and little things can become big if there is time and patience and creativity. They change, and flow and grow. It took committing to the men I love in order to be able to get all my needs met. My eye doesn't wander
as much now, my mind is allowed to wonder
, but not go beyond that and I can speak openly about what I want to do and accomplish when I find someone has inspired me sexually. I have no need to seek it out with that person specifically any more... quite often it is never as good as in my head anyway.
I hope this makes sense. I guess what I am saying is, with the right people all your needs can be met. It just takes some commitment and work with the right people. You may think in this that I just don't have as many desires, but judging by the list you gave us, that is far from the truth. All accomplishable, all in the context of a close group of constant lovers/partners....
keep looking, they are out there, but don't throw your hands in the air too soon.... amazing things come out of just seeing what happens... that has been my experience, for what it is worth.