Need some advice
My name is Ashley, and I was hoping to get some advice. First a little bit of a back story.
My husband and I have been married for about 3 and 1/2 years now. From the beginning we both admitted we were poly. We shared a girlfriend early into our relationship. It didn't last long but that was the first time we realized that we wanted more than one partner. About a year ago we started to look for another shared girlfriend. Instead of finding one though I ended up with a girlfriend. Recently we made the choice that he should try and find a girlfriend for himself. He checked out several places online with no avail. Then he started talking to a friend of ours, I'll just call her L. Well for about 2 weeks now my husband and L have been talking pretty much non-stop. She admits that she is falling for him they even went on a date (she took him to dinner and bowling on Saturday) She has been over to our house almost every day for these two week. They are getting very close, they hold hands, cuddle and he has even kissed her a few times but there is only one problem. Even though she admits that she is falling for him, she says that she can't share (meaning him) she has no problem with me and she is not the kind of person to want to break us up or anything she has made that very clear to both of us. She wants so badly to be with him but her fear won't let her do it. My husband is starting to fall for her hard and I want them together badly too because they are a perfect fit. Last night she even stayed the night and I let them have the bed (nothing happened other then a lot of cuddling).
My advice was maybe to wait it out and see if she gets over her fear because it seems like they keep moving forward despite her saying she can't deal with sharing. When she is over I make a point to not be all over my husband, kiss him or cuddle with him because I feel like when she is over it is there time and I get my time with him when we are alone. I guess my question is am I giving him the right advice? Should he try and wait and let their relationship progress as it has been and try not to use the word relationship? Basically let her set the pace? Or am I telling him the wrong things? I would like to know what you think about everything.