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Old 07-24-2013, 08:16 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is online now
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Quote:
compromise, ... why not just acceptance ?
Well... why just accept that there are people in the world who just choose to behave this way? (joking)

What I mean by coming to compromise already includes acceptance inside it to me. The acceptance that other people could have other preferences than what I prefer myself.

Even "agree to disagree and let it go" is a compromise. Some folks don't want to come to that compromise... they want to keep fighting/arguing. *Shrug* They value "keep it going" more than they value "stop the fighting."

If DH is wanting a monoamorous thing in a monoship shape and I am wanting a polyamorous thing in a polyship shape... we could come to compromise. And in a compromise both sides makes concession.

We could both conceed that the romance thing no long will fly here because of changes in wants. They are no longer shared wants so no longer compatible. He could accept that BOTH are not willing AND able to continue being romantic partners. I could do same. Accept BOTH are not willing AND able for it to continue. We could agree to let go of being romantic partners and could agree to share friendship instead moving forward. Conflict resolved that way.

Could just as easily be talking about home ownership, what to eat for dinner, etc. as the subject of the conflict. That's why I don't think it is about monoshipping/polyshipping per se. It happens to be in this case, but it isn't really about that to me.

The answer for "why do some people do that?" to me lies in their emotional maturity.
  • Are they healthy and emotionally mature people? Who can relate well with healthy skills? Can deal with and process disappointments, frustrations, or conflicts in life appropriately? Are emotionally stable kinds of partners?
  • Or are they unhealthy and emotionally immature people? Who relate poorly with unhealthy skills? Cannot deal with and process disappointments, frustrations, or conflicts in life appropriately? Are emotionally unstable kinds of partners?

HTH!
Galagirl

Last edited by GalaGirl; 07-24-2013 at 08:19 PM.
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